At the beginning of the race I saw a man pushing his handicapped son in a wheel chair, and I thought of Smith. And then I changed the reason for finishing the race. I told my self, " This is for Smith." It is true, he will never understand what we do for him in this life. While I was running across the finish line thinking of my smiling little boy, his mind is far far away in never land, watching mermaids swim and the lost boys crowding around him to play a game.
I am more and more grateful for him as each day passes.
Bryce and I were talking about our friends and family who have children. And we both realized we don't know what it is like to raise a child. We don't tell Smith what to do. We pretty much do everything for him. No, we are not raising Smith. Smith is raising us. He teaches us to do things, he gives us the social cues to feed and comfort him. Yes, Smith is Raising me. I needed it. I needed to grow up. I had to whip my butt into gear and experience something painful, happy, sad, wonderful, amazing, and very hard. I guess there is that quote that has shown up in mormon pop culture that some claim the savior said, but he really didn't, " I never said is would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." I like it for my situation. Though the savior never said it, I feel he is saying it to me, every day. Because it is hard everyday, and it is definitly worth it. It is worth it when he smiles at me, when he laughs so hard he can't breathe, when he sits up all by himself and when he visits me in my dreams and talks to me. I love my Smith. I can't say it enough.
my mom took these pictures of smith the other night, she is in town right now and I am loving it!!!