Thursday, November 12, 2009

Spinal Tap

As I walked into Primary Childerens Hospital in Salt Lake City I felt a little panic inside of me and I didn't feel too well, mother nature decided to pay me a little visit as I walked in holding my son. Don't worry the gift shop always provides woman products for emergency, so I was okay. But still, having to deal with that and then having your son go in for a spinal tap, an EMG, a G.I. scope and blood samples isn't what I call "ideal". First they couldn't find a vain to put the needle into for the anesthesia, so he was getting poked all over and just screaming. Poor little little. I felt like screaming too, I kind of did on the inside.
They took him in the procedure room and as he was in there, I walked around the hospital a bit. Watching children that were 8 in hospital gowns and no hair. And little ones with large casts on.
But it felt good to see them being taken care of. When Bryce and I were first at Primary Children's right after a neurology appointment. My Bryce and I had to wait in a room to get a blood sample for SMith. And in this room there was a grown boy, about fifteen years old, probably 150 pounds, in a wheel chair just looking up at the ceiling and smiling. It looked as though he had a condition, I didn't know what it was, maybe down syndrome, but he couldn't move, talk, walk, or look anywhere else but up. And the sweetest thing I had ever seen made tears drop on my lap. His grandma was holding his hand, she was a skinny woman. I watched her slide him out of this special wheel chair and hold him on her lap, he looked huge and awkward to hold, but she didn't care, she sang to him and smiled at him and talked to him, and laughed with him and rocked him and put her head on his and she smiled as well.
I looked over and saw my Bryce just staring, you really couldn't help but watch, it was amazing. But I knew what he was thinking.

He saw Smith in that boy.

He saw that as Smith's future. I held Bryce's hand tight and later asked him if that is what he was thinking. He said, "yes", and it was hard for him. We don't know what the future is for our son. We don't know what he will be capable of doing. Only a few results came back from the tests, and all they could tell us was "I am very concerned about your son", I liked hearing someone else is concerned. Thank you Doctor Sukonju and all the other staff at Primary children's.


  1. I decided to be a friend and post a comment. I am so sorry you had to see Smithy in pain. That is the worst ever. I am glad however that you were able to get all of these tests done. I hope that no matter what results you get you will feel at peace. I love you guys so much!!!

  2. Beth you brought tears to my eyes! I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but I am grateful that you have faith and strength in the church, otherwise I think this would be a lot harder, not that I could even begin to know. But I miss you Beth! I wish and pray for the best for you!

  3. Beth, you are strong! You are doing the best you can for little Smith. I'm sorry that it's hard. You are in my prayers. Love you!

  4. Beth, Reading your posts touches my heartstrings. You know how to touch others by sharing and bringing those close-to-God feelings to the surface. I prayed for you all day. You are such a wonderful mother and wife. I love you!

  5. Beth getting together would be a lot of fun, if I'm in Chico the same time you are, I am actually now in Orlando Fl, we are here until John finishes his Masters and then he heads to law school!

  6. It's nice to be able to meet with doctors. Even though you might not be getting clear results, at least you know that you are doing the most that you can for your child, and that's what matters. Actually, what matters most is that he is loved and I know that he feels that from you and Bryce. You are both such kind and loving people, how could he not feel anything but love from the both of you?!

    Hang in there and read these scriptures:

    Moroni 7:26 and Joshua 1:9

    We pray for Smith daily! We love you!


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