I Saw.

Today I saw, 5 old men running.

Today I saw a 16 year old boy helping his grandmother across a busy street.

Today I saw a man wearing a backwards hat, chains hanging from his pockets, and baggy clothes, zipping up his little daughters' coat and told her it was bath time when they got home.

Today I saw my husband rest his head on my shoulder during his lunch break and asked me to stay 5 more minutes.

Today I decided to let these people change me.

Today I want to be a better person because of them.

Today I realized that people are art. When you study them and look deeper you appreciate them more. You love them more. When you find out the history of an art piece, you are more drawn to it, it is more interesting.

People are art to me.

Beautiful, and intricate. And the best part is, they are all God's creations. Beautiful pieces of art.

Today I am going to paint a picture, with dinner on the table, a kiss on the forhead to Smith, and a snuggle session with Bryce. That sounds like a beautiful painting.

I ran a 1/2 Marathon.

At the beginning of the race I saw a man pushing his handicapped son in a wheel chair, and I thought of Smith. And then I changed the reason for finishing the race. I told my self, " This is for Smith." It is true, he will never understand what we do for him in this life. While I was running across the finish line thinking of my smiling little boy, his mind is far far away in never land, watching mermaids swim and the lost boys crowding around him to play a game.

I am more and more grateful for him as each day passes.

Bryce and I were talking about our friends and family who have children. And we both realized we don't know what it is like to raise a child. We don't tell Smith what to do. We pretty much do everything for him. No, we are not raising Smith. Smith is raising us. He teaches us to do things, he gives us the social cues to feed and comfort him. Yes, Smith is Raising me. I needed it. I needed to grow up. I had to whip my butt into gear and experience something painful, happy, sad, wonderful, amazing, and very hard. I guess there is that quote that has shown up in mormon pop culture that some claim the savior said, but he really didn't, " I never said is would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." I like it for my situation. Though the savior never said it, I feel he is saying it to me, every day. Because it is hard everyday, and it is definitly worth it. It is worth it when he smiles at me, when he laughs so hard he can't breathe, when he sits up all by himself and when he visits me in my dreams and talks to me. I love my Smith. I can't say it enough.

my mom took these pictures of smith the other night, she is in town right now and I am loving it!!!

this is me entering a recipe contest, I had to submit a photo of me and the recipe...I didn't want to do it, but the food turned out good.

My Buddy and Me

I just love my buddies

Basking in your Child's Light

There are many times I try to figure my son out.

I think, why is he doing that? Is this a symptom? What is he doing? Why? How? And so on...

I am sure no matter what our children have, from Angelman's to ADD, we are trying to figure our children out.

The other day, I was watching Smith as he was laying on his back babbling, and rolling, the first thing that came to my head was, "is this what most children with Angelman's do?" Then I quickly let that thought go, because I realized wasn't enjoying my child. I was busy being caught up in figuring him out and wasn't simply enjoying him. So I laid down beside him and tickled him and had fun, with no thought of any symptom or anything. I was basking in Smith's light. And how bright it is! I think as mothers we can all be surprised of how much light our children give off. And how much we need it!

Of course there are times where it is totally appropriate to try and "figure them out", but every once in a while, just let it all go and have some fun.

oh... and by the way, Smith is sitting up with no assistance for about a minute now... pretty exciting!

a sweet pic of daddy kissing little Smith on his way into an brain MRI.

we love Smith.... and each other, isn't that awesome?

Angel Man

As of two days ago we know.

It feels good to know. Finally know. What am I talking about?....... it feels GREAT!

Dr. Botto (Smith's Geneticist) called me and told me, "the search is over." Smith's 15th chromosome is missing which means he has a rare genetic disorder called, get this, Angelman's Syndrome. Now, anyone who knows Smith can testify to the fact he is an angel, and apparently these special people with this syndrome have an "angel like" demeanor. It just so happens that the man who founded this disorder, his last name is Angelman. As Bryce and I read about his disorder, tears came to our eyes because we were actually reading real symptoms, we were saying things like, "Thats why! I get it." It feels so good to know, really know. We always were asking what Smith was smiling at, what he was laughing at, and why he was happy all the time. All these things are traits of a person affected with Angelman's.

Well, Smith. Your dad and I are in it for the long hall. We will always be here for you, to take care of you and enjoy you, for the rest of your life....you can count on that! So here's to our Angel... Smith David taylor. It is a truly momentous occasion.

Angelman syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Happy Birthday Smith!

Well, yesterday was technically his birthday, but I was too busy to write anything to him.

Smith I have a little something to tell you......

When you were born, your Daddy said "he felt God in the room"

You have a smile that lights up the whole room

You love to put your hands in your mouth and kick your feet high in the air

When we spin you around in circles you laugh so hard you can't breath

You love mashed bananas

You have daddy's dark eyelashes and my color of hair

You have parents that love and adore you

Happy Birthday Smith WE LOVE YOU!

A Story

I love stories.

Always have, always will.

In fact, my Bryce just got me the complete Grimm's Brothers book of fairy tales, and I have been devouring it ever since. Everything from drops of blood talking to princesses and lost fingers that point in the direction of it's killers. Yes, grim as they are, I love em. I do love Hans Christian Anderson's as well, but there is something about the Grimm's Brothers tales that I tend to love even more.

Anyway, I want to tell you a touching story. And it's true.

The story is about a little boy named Smith. He is so strong inside but doesn't have the strength outside to do things like other boys his age. Doctors are trying to find anything they can do to help him, as they poke and prod, Smith can't help but cry, but Mom and Dad are there this time, holding his legs down and his hands down. After his grueling day, guess what Smith wants to do? He wants to smile and be spun around. Mom remembers the doctor asking her the question, "Is Smith aggressive?" Mom chuckles, "What do you mean aggressive?" Doctor replies, "Does he bite anyone, or does he show aggressive behavior at all?" Mom and Dad chuckle this time. Any one who knows Smith, knows he is the kindest, most gentle and smiley little boy. And he has another secret, there are many people praying for him and fasting for him all the time, and that makes him happy, it makes him stronger too. So the end of this story is still yet to be told, but I will have you know, it ends happily ever after, indeed.

(This is Brooke Lee, C-jones' (my bestie) sister holding Smith in California)